Fall Break

Our school district takes a week off in the fall and I am enjoying my break from the classroom.  Things are so topsy turvy right now I'm not always sure what direction I'm going much less what day it is.  People often talk of 'one door opening as another one closes' - what do you do when it feels like several doors are opening & closing all at the same time?!  It's not so much opening/closing doors I guess as it's blessings coupled with emotional chaos that is causing my mental frustrations.

Praise:
    >  Received almost double expected amount of financial windfall; enough to pay off most of cards, make down payment and put some in savings.
    >  Offer on house accepted; based on current rates payment will be less than current rent payment.
    >  Receiving monthly child support for the first time in 16 years.
    >  Finally got new bras today  - Mercedes decided to chew on the last two I had, making it necessary to get new ones ;>)

Prayer:
    >  JT & Kry not getting along any better; still feel like I am stuck in the middle and can't please either one.
    >  Emotional state of whole household is going downhill; have to get JT to counseling with me or just bite the bullet and make stand at home.
    >  Personal health (emotional & physical) suffering
        *  Depression interferring more often
        *  Pain in feet/heels has returned & not even exercising
        *  Pain in hands getting worse; some days hurts to hold pen to sign name
  
It's past midnight and time to get some shut eye.  I'm sure my life is no less chaotic then most; some would even say I have nothing to complain about.  My hope is that by putting these thoughts here, typing my rantings for all or none to read, calmness will find its way to the waves of thought that currently thunder in my head.

Why does no one seem to believe - I talk in order to relieve - I hope to find support - Instead I endure yet another report - of all my failures as a mother - hearing from one is bad enough - both becomes unbearable - don't yell at her he snaps - for telling Sadie no, as she pawed at the back seat - call psych for apt - call counselor about bringing S to apt, try to get Jt to go - he manipulates too - pray for me Lord, my heart is weary - carry me Lord, my legs are weak - Amen