Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A quick thought...
One of the motivating factors in losing weight has been the prospect of being able to get off some of the medications I have been put on over the years. Due to circumstances slightly out of my control I ran out of one of my prescriptions and have been without it now for a little over a week. None of my family members have noticed a change in my emotional state and I have been able to sleep, work, etc as normal. I've been on this medication the longest and in the past haven't been able to go more than three days without feeling physically sick (tremors, anxiety attacks) and emotionally on edge. This time - nothing; no symptoms of any kind. Thank you for the hidden blessing! My current difficulty: I still haven't figured out which came first the emotional or physical? Did one problem create another or was it a simultaneous downward spiral, one tumbling in front of the other on a whim?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Life is looking up
It's been five months now and I've lost a total of 60 pounds. I never thought I would be able to say those words; especially after only five months. The changes I have experienced are physical, mental and emotional. I look in the mirror and for the first time in my life I like what I see. There are flaws; it's not a perfect picture and I can smile with pride.
I touch my chest and feel the closeness of the bone; feel my ring spin around my finger as I notice muscle tone and definition in my arms. I was about 20, had put on 20 pounds since high school and was visiting a friend when our weight became the topic of conversation. I still had a nice figure (I have a picture of me in a leather mini-skirt from that day) and hadn't really registered or cared about 20 pounds. That day I remember saying something about not really caring what the scale said because I don't ever look my actual weight and seem to maintain a 'figure'.
Well, the years went by (20 years, coincidentally enough) and those twenty pounds turned into 70 pounds. I was once an energetic, athletic, cheerful and outgoing young woman who found myself feeling 60 years old at 50. To be honest, I know 60 year old people who probably feel and move better than I did a few months ago. The weight crept on over the years making it easy to ignore the scale. I mean really, when you think about it, that was only a little over 3 pounds a year that I gained. At 170 I had only gained 15 pounds. 10 years later at 190 I had only gained 20 pounds. 10 years after that at 226 I had only gained 50 pounds. Now, if you're doing the math as you read you've already figured out my math is off just a little. It wasn't my math, it was my awareness. My ability to look at myself and accept I have a problem with food.
There were many factors that contributed the this lack of awareness. Time is limited and the bed is calling; more tomorrow.
Is there lack of awareness in your life?
I touch my chest and feel the closeness of the bone; feel my ring spin around my finger as I notice muscle tone and definition in my arms. I was about 20, had put on 20 pounds since high school and was visiting a friend when our weight became the topic of conversation. I still had a nice figure (I have a picture of me in a leather mini-skirt from that day) and hadn't really registered or cared about 20 pounds. That day I remember saying something about not really caring what the scale said because I don't ever look my actual weight and seem to maintain a 'figure'.
Well, the years went by (20 years, coincidentally enough) and those twenty pounds turned into 70 pounds. I was once an energetic, athletic, cheerful and outgoing young woman who found myself feeling 60 years old at 50. To be honest, I know 60 year old people who probably feel and move better than I did a few months ago. The weight crept on over the years making it easy to ignore the scale. I mean really, when you think about it, that was only a little over 3 pounds a year that I gained. At 170 I had only gained 15 pounds. 10 years later at 190 I had only gained 20 pounds. 10 years after that at 226 I had only gained 50 pounds. Now, if you're doing the math as you read you've already figured out my math is off just a little. It wasn't my math, it was my awareness. My ability to look at myself and accept I have a problem with food.
There were many factors that contributed the this lack of awareness. Time is limited and the bed is calling; more tomorrow.
Is there lack of awareness in your life?
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