Life is looking up

It's been five months now and I've lost a total of 60 pounds.  I never thought I would be able to say those words; especially after only five months.  The changes I have experienced are physical, mental and emotional.  I look in the mirror and for the first time in my life I like what I see.  There are flaws; it's not a perfect picture and I can smile with pride.

I touch my chest and feel the closeness of the bone; feel my ring spin around my finger as I notice muscle tone and definition in my arms.  I was about 20, had put on  20 pounds since high school and was visiting a friend when our weight became the topic of conversation.  I still had a nice figure (I have a picture of me in a leather mini-skirt from that day) and hadn't really registered or cared about 20 pounds.  That day I remember saying something about not really caring what the scale said because I don't ever look my actual weight and seem to maintain a 'figure'.

Well, the years went by (20 years, coincidentally enough) and those twenty pounds turned into 70 pounds.  I was once an energetic, athletic, cheerful and outgoing young woman who found myself feeling 60 years old at 50.  To be honest, I know 60 year old people who probably feel and move better than I did a few months ago.  The weight crept on over the years making it easy to ignore the scale.  I mean really, when you think about it, that was only a little over 3 pounds a year that I gained.  At 170 I had only gained 15 pounds.  10 years later at 190 I had only gained 20 pounds.  10 years after that at 226  I had only gained 50 pounds.  Now, if you're doing the math as you read you've already figured out my math is off just a little.  It wasn't my math, it was my awareness.  My ability to look at myself and accept I have a problem with food. 

There were many factors that contributed the this lack of awareness.  Time is limited and the bed is calling; more tomorrow. 

Is there lack of awareness in your life?