Adding to the routine

After the second meeting with the trainer I took Krys with me to the gym. She used the treadmill with me and then watched as I worked on the machines. I had told her about J having me use the more difficult ab machine. Can't remember it's name but you sit with hands hold bars behind ears and lift legs as you cruch toward your knees. Anyway...she wanted to know which one it was so pointed it out and someone was using it. He was making it look easy so she made comment about it not seeming that hard. I had to show her of course (that competative spirit took over!) that it wasn't easy but mom could do it! Pushed myself to hard and irritated an area on my left side that acts up now and then. I'm pretty sure it is my endometriosis and/or scar tissue from the surgeries (c-section, fybroidectomy and hysterectomy). If I move, cough or sneeze wrong I will sometimes feel this ripping sensation that is quick; like you've been stabbed. Then it will throb for a time, sometimes it is enough that I will take something. This time it was enough I thought it best to lay low until it, at least, wasn't tender to the touch.

My third day with J was yesterday and I explained why I had postponed our appointment. He aggreed it was likely that machine. He decided to show me some additional machines that would work on the muscles in and around that area. He also lowered the weight and reps on the ab machine and stressed again that I need to increase reps not weight. He ended up cutting our time short and scheduling me for another day next week. He said he wanted another day to make sure I was comfortable with the new machines. I went back up and did more cardio to finish out my hour before going home. I feel ok today; the area is sore and I can feel it every now and then. I'm planning on working out tomorrow but only doing cardio.

It feels good to be 'feeling' my body. Sore muscles remind you that you have more work to do and ensure that you do it because two days rest means stiffer muscles! Need to get ready for bed. Good night!

Work hard to please Him!

The Journey Begins...

I started this blog hoping to force myself into being accountable in my efforts to take better care of myself. I recently signed up for a gym and will have my third and final meeting with the trainer on Friday. He has given me a very rigorous workout to help get rid of the fat and tone up the muscle. The hard part is going to be getting myself there on a regular basis. I would really prefer a treadmill here at home so I didn't have to go anywhere but that will have to wait and my getting healthy won't. I am working on an eating plan that will work for me ant my family. Mom has recommended a program called Medifast and I have looked into it but I am not sure I want to go that route. I wouldn't be able to eat all of their foods because a lot of it is soy based and my obgyn said to stay away from soy due to my endometriosis. Which adds a whole different element to this whole process. I have learned the hard way that when the endo is inflamed it is not good to exercise - it only makes it worse. I am hoping that once I have been exercising regularly I will begin to notice a decrease in the pain and will be able to work-out through the flair-ups.

I've put it off long enough, as much as I don't want to I am going to post my physical bio tonight. I have officially weighed and measured myself to establish a staring point for this journey of healing. This is only one facet of the journey - the others will be explored later or in other postings. For now, the weight issue!!

The facts:

• Height: 5'7"
• Weight: 220 lbs
• Neck: 15"
• Rt Arm: 14 1/2"
• Chest: 45" (over breast) 35" (under breast)
• Waist: 37"
• Hips: 46"
• Rt Thigh: 28"

I currently wear a women's size 16 and put more stock in how I feel and look than in what the scale says. In high school I learned that my size and weight did not match. I could wear the same clothes as friends that weighed 135 but I weighed 150-155. I beleive that 175 is a reasonable goal for me to acheive at this point. I am 20+ years past high school and realistic enough to know that bearing a child and age change the body in ways that can't always be reversed.

Over the next few blogs I will continue to share my current 'state of affairs'. A quick synopsis is that over the years I have (in order) been diagnosed and/or been treated for the following: major depression, irritable bowl syndrome, fybroid tumors (4 removed), hypothyroidism, fybroid tumors (again), endometriosis, bi-polar 2 disorder. Getting to this point in life was not easy, I made a lot of mistakes along the way and have not treated my body as well as I should have. My life is taking a turn since I will soon be an 'empty nester' and I should be looking forward to this time when I am young and free to do so many things. NOT!!!! I am so tired and worn out most the time that I haven't even done the things I dreamed of doing with my daughter.

I can't change the past but I can certainly change the outlook for the future and I can take each moment as it comes, praying each step will be guided by the hand of God as I work to become healthy in all aspects of my life: spiritual, emotional, physical and relational.

Comforted for now...:) goodnight!

Life is hectic

School is almost out and hopefully things will slow down some. Its not that I've had so much to do really, just a lot of emotional 'stuff' at work and home. Sometimes I wonder if it is really such a great idea to put off dealing with some of these things until 'summer begins'. At the same time I am just not up to any more emotional strain. Krystal is not getting better like I would like. She was running another low grade fever last night. Not than anyone is paying attention but for an update she has been very sick. What we thought was an infection from a budding wisdom tooth turned into a very bad case of strep throat (took two antibiotics to get rid of it) and mono. When they did the blood tests her liver enzymes were elevated which is cause for some concern. They want her getting her blood checked every two weeks until she tests negative. I'm not sure how we are supposed to go about doing that when she is up in Washington but we'll figure it out. I want to get to bed. I'm meeting my new boss tomorrow and want to be rested. I'll be on here more frequently in the near future as I work to get my self back on track. Have a good one and God Bless all.